…feeling like a fuel…
Ten seconds ago I realized how Obama could swat Putin. And by “swat” I mean a brutal, merciless, mixed-martial-arts beatdown that would be seared into the memories of all observers for all time. We’re talking Godzilla versus Bambi.
Oh, incidentally it would be phenomenal for the U.S. of A. Bwah-ha-ha-HA! Yes, it’s a pipe-dream. But just imagine Obama’s next “pivot to the economy”:
My fellow Americans, we all know that abundant, inexpensive energy would be a Godsend to a United States so rich in oil, shale, and fracking technology. But of course we could never expand the use of fossil fuel under the threat of global warming. However, research has proved that our planet is entering a cooling phase. The best estimates are that this will last for the next two centuries.
For these reasons, I now call for energy policy that minimizes regulations, maximizes production, and ensures research, development, and foreign investment that will guarantee American power throughout the 21st Century.
I also wish Vladimir Putin the best of luck in selling his skanky-ass conflict oil to desperate broke-ass losers.
(FULL DISCLOSURE: I just dislocated both shoulders from patting myself on the back, but it had to be done because I am a genius.)
Okay, let’s deal with a few details, a bit of the ol’ realpolitik: aren’t “global warming” activists vastly more butch than “anti-war” protesters? Yes. Of course. Obviously.
(STOP. NOTE: this post isn’t finished, but it’s 6 A.M. and I have to hit the sack. I’m posting it mid-composition in case you guys enlarge the theme or improve the execution. This proposal is, seriously, realpolitik. I just hope to remember the arguments after I wake up in 7.5 hours.)
You guys are the best. Oh, and yes, the stupid title was a stupid lead-in to a stupid pun. Everything must go.
But it was a multi-level pun! Arrrgh.