Torn between two levers…

…feeling like a fuel…

Ten seconds ago I realized how Obama could swat Putin.  And by “swat” I mean a brutal, merciless, mixed-martial-arts beatdown that would be seared into the memories of all observers for all time.  We’re talking Godzilla versus Bambi.

Oh, incidentally it would be phenomenal for the U.S. of A.  Bwah-ha-ha-HA!  Yes, it’s a pipe-dream.  But just imagine Obama’s next “pivot to the economy”:

My fellow Americans, we all know that abundant, inexpensive energy would be a Godsend to a United States so rich in oil, shale, and fracking technology.  But of course we could never expand the use of fossil fuel under the threat of global warming.  However, research has proved that our planet is entering a cooling phase.  The best estimates are that this will last for the next two centuries.

For these reasons, I now call for energy policy that minimizes regulations, maximizes production, and ensures research, development, and foreign investment that will guarantee American power throughout the 21st Century.

I also wish Vladimir Putin the best of luck in selling his skanky-ass conflict oil to desperate broke-ass losers.

(FULL DISCLOSURE:  I just dislocated both shoulders from patting myself on the back, but it had to be done because I am a genius.)

Okay, let’s deal with a few details, a bit of the ol’ realpolitik:  aren’t “global warming” activists vastly more butch than “anti-war” protesters?  Yes.  Of course.  Obviously. 

(STOP.  NOTE:  this post isn’t finished, but it’s 6 A.M. and I have to hit the sack.  I’m posting it mid-composition in case you guys enlarge the theme or improve the execution.  This proposal is, seriously, realpolitik.  I just hope to remember the arguments after I wake up in 7.5 hours.)

You guys are the best.  Oh, and yes, the stupid title was a stupid lead-in to a stupid pun.  Everything must go.

But it was a multi-level pun!  Arrrgh.


About wormme

I've accepted that all of you are socially superior to me. But no pretending that any of you are rational.
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9 Responses to Torn between two levers…

  1. Edohiguma says:

    That would require that the well trained and educated former KGB operative in the Kremlin actually cares about what the college boy with the most basic law degree in the White House has to say. Russia is selling a ton of oil to China as it is, cause China gobbles this juice up like crazy.

    Of course, it would also mean that Obama would have to completely abandon his ideology, and I think it’s more likely for pigs to fly first.

    Plus, there are not enough “I” and “me” in this speech, Obama would never pass on an opportunity to glorify himself.

    Honestly? I take Putin over Obomber any day.

    • wormme says:

      Oil and gas being fungible commodities, I’m pretty sure that driving their price down would hammer Russia’s economy. It would do the same to every despotic Middle East regime.

      Certainly it won’t happen, but not for the reason you give. We may have different ideas about the fundament of Barry’s ideology.

      • Edohiguma says:

        Problem is, how’d you drive it down? The US can’t do that alone on a large scale. The EU has more inhabitants and more cars. China needs fuel, so does India. The US can’t supply them all.

        Obama can open the gates for all US fuel producing companies, but what impact would that have on the global market?

        Let’s be honest, for the US itself it would be pretty awesome. Dropping energy dependency and getting it done domestically is a good idea.

        But for the rest of us?

        • Edohiguma says:

          Let’s play it through.

          The US goes all out with oil, gas, etc.

          OPEC and Russia will then slow down their production. They will lower the supply but the demand will remain.

          It’s that naughty supply and demand mechanic that already smacked us twice with the oil.

          Not sure how bad the ’73 Oil Crisis was in the US back in the days, but it hit us here pretty hard. Today it would be a lot worse. The ’79 Oil Crisis also caused lines at the gas stations.

          Right now gas prices are already at $7 per gallon at Austrian gas stations and that’s Diesel, which is the cheapest fuel we have.

          The problem is that as long as we require oil we’re pretty much at their mercy. And we don’t have a better propellant right now.

          Plus… Obama would never want to anger his friends in the Pan Islamic Terror Zone.

          • wormme says:

            Aren’t a lot of your (consumer) costs due to ridiculously high taxes on gas?

            And of course you’re right, you’re right, Obama would much rather anger flyover America than OPEC. That’s why I hope Putin’s pressure and humiliations don’t just bend him, they make him snap. Only for a wounded ego would he betray the global warming and Islamist crowds.

            I know it’s not going to happen…but it would, if all the dominos fell just right. Barack is more predictable than a bent knee tapped by a rubber hammer.

          • Edohiguma says:

            Yep, 50% taxes, plus 20% VAT. Totally nuts.

            Going right to where, a few decades ago, the Green party said our fuel prices should be.

            Though, in all honesty, I can see him turn on the enviro-nitwits if it helps him. But on the tally-ho snackbar crowd? No.

        • wormme says:

          The ramp-up of fracking has been incredible, despite federal foot-dragging. I’ll try to find some of the recent articles and graphs I’ve seen. It’s been nuts. It’s been asymptotic. Obviously such a rate of increase can’t hold, but even the estimates of known reserves is going through the roof. Take for example this editorial, though the title is a bit provocative and brash.

          Seriously, when you have a few minutes do some web searches on shale formations, fracking tech, etc. etc. Heck, even you Euros probably have shale somewhere!

          • Edohiguma says:

            Mr W, for the EUSSR to develop fracking…. If they’d do that within the next 10 years, then I might become a true believer in God, because that would really be one heck of a miracle.

            Of course, given how the EUSSR works they’d spend the next 10+ years discussing alternatives, then 20 years of funding them with a lot of money, and then, after those 30 years, they’re realize that the alternatives are garbage. Like we see it with “renewable” energy by now.

  2. Pingback: edo makes two points… | World's Only Rational Man

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