You’ve probably heard that the Associated Press finally realized that “illegal immigrant” isn’t the right term for America’s illegal immigrants.  (Oddly, the A.P. isn’t interested in what other nations call illegal immigrants.  It doesn’t even care what other governments do to them.)  I don’t suppose we could go back to “illegal alien”?  Didn’t think so.  Fine.  Thinking caps on!       

Non-American Americans

Self-invited guests

Quasi-yankees

Inveterate Scofflaws

North Continentals

Americans Lite

Or perhaps,

Place Invaders

Border Busters

Since the executive branch never enforces border security, no matter which party is in power, maybe…

President’s Residents

OTOH, why shouldn’t nationalist or xenophobic paranoids get to name things?

Foreign devils

Alien interlopers (sorry, but “alien” deserves a second chance.  C’mon.  It’s alien.)

And what about America’s sole xenophobic paranoid clinical oncologist?  Give that poor miserable soul his say.   

Cancer Cells of the Body Politic

“But wormme,” you exclaim, “we want to know your favorite!”  My name for those who lawlessly enter, commit felonies or hop on welfare, then lecture citizens about racism while demanding legal changes that the natives are expected to obey?  I like to think of them as…

Pre-Deported