Sign my “Get Me In Girl Scouts!” petition or be a bigot!

There they go again.  According to gays, the Boy Scouts need homosexual Troop Leaders. 

Is it fair for an organization meant to teach young people morals to exclude people so openly? People, no matter what their religion or sexual preference, are people. And the Boy Scouts should be teaching tolerance and not segregation.

Amen, brother!  But you can’t stop there.  Why do the Girl Scouts get a free pass?   Because…I want to be a Girl Scout Troop Leader.  I mean really, really want to.  They’re ever in my thoughts and dreams, those young, nubile, just-blossoming girls… tolerance demands that this lonely heterosexual man take them deep into the woods and teach them the ways of the world.

And it’s what they want.   Just look:


Listen closely and you’ll hear her murmur, “Oh wormme, oh wormme, you’re such a big Scout Master.  Ooooooh yes, make me sweat for my merit badge.”

Would you deny her the chance to work under me?  For shame!  The Girl Scouts should be teaching tolerance and not segregation.  So I should be as unsegregated with Girl Scouts as biology allows.

I hereby swear:  if I’m not drowning in barely-pubescent girls a day after the Boy Scouts go gay, I will sue the Boy Scouts, the lucky gay dude, the Girl Scouts,, Mark Trail, and also Instapundit for not linking this, the most important petition in history.  Plus you readers for letting it happen.

Give me young girls!  Gimme gimme gimme!  It’s no creepier than gays wanting in Boy Scouts and you damn well know it.  So that’s the deal.  Boy Scouts get gays, Girl Scouts get wormme.

And seeing as we’re all so tolerant, toss in a few brownies for my first camping trip.

About wormme

I've accepted that all of you are socially superior to me. But no pretending that any of you are rational.
This entry was posted in Modest Proposals. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Sign my “Get Me In Girl Scouts!” petition or be a bigot!

  1. Xpat says:

    You were wayyyyyy too into that post, Worme.

    The below is a “Why didn’t I think of that?” Youtube. Misheard lyrics. I almost always mishear lyrics.

    • wormme says:

      Heh, yeah. I have the same exact ailment. And the post was supposed to be icky, that being the point. The only involvement I want with the Girl Scouts is an occasional box of cookies.

      • Xpat says:

        I know, I know. I got the point and it’s a good one.

        I actually think that the Scouts are one of the last remaining institutions for good role modeling, for guys maybe the only one, and it will be a tragedy if it too is deconstructed via this postmodern victim trip.

  2. Edohiguma says:

    Competent troop leaders, based on their skills, dedication and hard work, no matter what skin color or sexual orientation? Absolutely.

    Giving preferred treatment to certain interest groups? No.

    Earn your stripes.

    • wormme says:

      I’m not sure we’re on the same page here. The Boy Scouts are a private organization. In a free country they could have any sort of eligibility requirements they want. Gays don’t like it? Then let ’em start their own damn club and exclude the breeders!

      • Edohiguma says:

        See, that I didn’t know. I don’t know much about the Boy Scouts in general, because when I was a kid they didn’t really exist in my area. If they’re a private “club” they have any right to establish their own rules.

        There was a similar case some years back here, where some feminists got pissy over why the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra (also a private organization) had no women. They started whining. So their chief eventually came out and said “Well, if a woman qualifies we’ll take her.”

        • wormme says:

          The Boy Scouts really don’t want to get sex involved in any way. That’s not what they’re about. If a hetero Scout Master started talking up all his conquests to the boys they’d can him, too.

          • Edohiguma says:

            But that’s where the problem is Mr W. Today it’s all about sex. Sexual orientation, together with skin color, seem to be the two most defining points for many people these days.

            Which is kind of pitiful.

            To me, for example, a gay, black idiot, is an idiot. He doesn’t get any free passes just because of being a “minority”. If you’re a jackass I will treat you like a jackass.

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