Guess I’m a radneck.

We’ve had an insane Monday-Wednesday workweek so far.  I was going to show you the heavy neutron meter I’ve been lugging about for two days, but apparently the Eberline ASP2e with 9″ poly rem-ball is only available on ebay lately.

So, tired and unlikely to blog much tonight, I’ll share more stuff from our crazy lady tech.

The top 31 things that you will never hear a Southern boy say:

31. When I retire, I’m movin’ North.

30. Oh I just couldn’t. She’s only sixteen.

29. I’ll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won’t fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.

26. We don’t keep firearms in this house.

25. You can’t feed that to the dog.

24. That car is too old and unsafe to drive.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We’re vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don’t need another dog.

18. Who gives a rat’s ass who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I’ve got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9.  My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

8.  I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7.  Checkmate

6.  She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.

5.  Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.

4.  I don’t have a favorite college team.

3.  You guys.

2.  Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Becky Mae…..darlin’

AND THE NUMBER ONE THANG THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1.  Nope, no more for me. I’m driving!

Finally, I just this moment realized that the most terrifying phrase imaginable is “HULK F**K!”

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About wormme

I've accepted that all of you are socially superior to me. But no pretending that any of you are rational.
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7 Responses to Guess I’m a radneck.

  1. Edohiguma says:

    Take a photo of it. Smartphone, digicam, anything goes. But someone could probably see that industrial espionage. Though I’m pretty sure the Chinese are already producing knock-off Eberline ASP2e with 9″ poly rem-ball.

  2. defendusa says:

    You know you’re a Southern Boy when…
    Every sentence finishes with Sir or Ma’am…
    The favorite term of endearment is Darlin’
    The words “bless your heart” can mean good, bad, ugly!

  3. buck says:

    “How much for the Prius?”

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