Man, whoever froze these two turkeys meant business. I suspect Ice-9 is involved. I finally broke down and put them in water. Maybe give them a few hours then pop ’em back in the fridge?
This will probably be a mostly analog day; cleaning, organizing…watching turkeys thaw. Obviously the productive part ends whenever I boot Skyrim back up. It’s getting a “9.8” rating there at imdb, wow. And now it bugs me that I didn’t recognize spome of those actors’ voices; I caught Sean Bean and Patrick Stewart from Oblivion.
World's Only Rational Man 
I have a hose barb that screws onto the pipe my shower goes on. I also have about 8 ft of 3/8″ plastic tubing and a food-grade five-gallon bucket.
When I have large chunks of meat to defrost, into the bucket it goes, with the hose outlet at the bottom of the bucket. Turn the water on at the minimum trickle.
Three to five hours later, even a deep frozen 18 pound turkey is thawed, and has had minimum time to culture salmonella.
Small lumps, like steaks, pork chops, or chicken parts, go in a big glass casserole or pot for an hour.