Make sports, not war, part two.

We don’t need Islamists, Soviets, Nazis, King George III, or anyone else to war with.  A freeman, freemarket society doesn’t need boogeymen.

What we need is economic and political competition.  And we should want our competitors to be strong.  How good would the New York Yankees have become by playing Little Leaguers?

The Federal League should be a competition between fifty teams, umpired by the federal government.  This post will point out the insanity of our current setup through the lens of baseball.  With some precepts along the way.

We can’t all be on the same team.

Duh.  Why do socialist, “one-size-fits-all” societies always become moribund?  This is one of the reasons.  “We’re all in this together!”  That’s nuts.  That makes everything susceptible to the same weaknesses.  Better to allow as much diversity as people choose, apart from a few universals.  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness will do nicely.  (Note that two of those explicitly require diverse paths, if that’s what people want.) 

Competition doesn’t mean emnity.

Okay, it’s easy to lose your temper in a  hard-fought contest.  Why, sometimes it gets so bad at fights that hockey games break out.  But if you’re good, and at the top of your game, you can’t help but respect someone who matches you stride-for-stride.  You can be steadfast friends with your most bitter competitor.  Well, you also have to be a grown-up about it, which disqualifies most folks.  But it’s possible!

Competition guarantees creativity.

I remember high-school baseball, me sliding into third base going from first on a teammate’s single.  The throw beat me by three feet (I’m a moron!) but the third baseman readied his tag with his glove wide open…so I dug the ball out with my cleats.

A lot of shouting ensued.

Being a bookworm who at the time dreamed of being a pro baseball player, I knew the rule book better than most.  There was no specific injunction saying “Thou Shalt Not Use Foot Karate Against Thine Opponent”.  But those socialist rulebooks always deal with some poorly-defined concept called “sportsmanship” and…long story short…they called me out.

Because they were Communists.  And you see,

Rules must be bent for the game to improve.

So my baseball-fu didn’t fly.  But it might have.  If we’re “all on the same team”, where’s the incentive to test things?

Here’s a guy you probably never heard of…”King” Kelly.  The Thomas Edison of baseball.  He probably forced more rule changes than the next ten players combined. 

And thus made the game a lot better.

I’m not saying that all change is good.  THE DESIGNATED HITTER RULE IS PURE CRAP.  It is morally wrong to let a pitcher throw to batters, at batters if he chooses, without stepping into that batter’s box himself.  I don’t know how a man can let himself be so wussified.  Oh, right.  It’s a favorite of the players’ union.

Anyway, competition drives innovation.  Not news to any of you, of course. 

And now we come to the jaw-dropping aspect of our current government.  Please remember that we are (most of us here) Americans.  Would you agree:

Umpires and referees can’t be team owners!

How did we come to this pass?!  Our federal government picking and chosing between its favorites?  Owning supposedly competitive entities?

Then, we should let baseball umpires be team owners if they want.  What could go wrong?  Trust them!  Sure, they get all uptight when players bet on games, going so far as to ban them for life when they get caught.  But that’s different.  Since umpires enforce the rules, they will always resist the temptation to call things the way they want.  They’re better people than you and me…they’re umpires.

There should be fifty teams in the Federal League, and the “umpire” should be mediating   disputes between competitors.  Not playing in the game! 

Heck, they’re even trying to let the U.N. horn in on our rules!  And we’re letting them.

I hope Rick Perry is as federalist as he acts.  Doubtful, but a man can dream.  We could really use a good umpire right now.

About wormme

I've accepted that all of you are socially superior to me. But no pretending that any of you are rational.
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