Tomorrow is “Black Friday”, America’s biggest and busiest holiday. Retailers compete in frantic despair whilst shoppers demand below-cost prices and swarm like locusts whenever a maddened merchant cracks and commits Suicide by Sale.
It warms my very cockles, it does. And if you don’t even have cockles on this fine Black Friday Eve, Larry’s Mollusk and Snail Shack is having a “buy-one-get-one” tomorrow starting one single femto-second after midnight!
So collate those “Gimme Gimme” lists from greedy friends and relatives, plan your shopping and escape routes with equal diligence, and sharpen the elbows for giving your fellow celebrants the proper greeting!
And whatever else you do, America, do not be Thankful. The economy’s bad enough without you counting your blessings instead of your cash. As the carol says,
Hi, buy, buy low,
These high prices have to go!