Yes, you can have a fabulous career in…Professional Fact-Checking!

(UPDATE: Celebrity endorsement!  By G.H. Reynolds, Law Professor and Renaissance-American extraordinaire!  This proves that Blog-U is fully accredited and not satiric or mocking or non-accredited.)

Fact checking is the growth pundit sector in every media!  And here at “Blog U” (a subsidiary of Digi-Text College) we offer everything you need…to succeed!  How sure are we that you can be a professional fact-checker?  It’s guaranteed or your money back!

“But Blog-U,” you protest, “you don’t even know who I am!”  That’s right, future professional fact-checker, we don’t!  But we know who you’re not.  You…lucky reader…are not Ezra Klein.

Or shoud we say, Ezra Klein…professional fact-checker!

Now do you believe?  Fact-checkers are in such demand that even invertebrate inveterate liars are needed.  Think about that!  It’s like convicted arsonists working at the fire alarm factory!  Like accused pederast Harry Reid

…getting a babysitting job!  What are your chances in this crazy coo-coo Bizarro World?  With Blog-U’s help, they are 100%.

Guaranteed!*

And that’s not all!  Blog U can even teach you both kinds of fact-checking.  That’s right….bowwwwwwwth.  “Both kinds?” you gasp.  “There’s more than one?!”

Yes, well-heeled or grant-eligible future student, there are.  As readers not desperate enough to attend a cul-de-sac community college would infer, there are two types of Fact-Checking.  Twice as many as you ever imagined!

And Blog U teaches every one of them.  The first is Narrative-Based Fact-Checking…which guarantees your job in the mainstream media.  “It’s too good to be true,” you sob?  No, what’s too good to be true is the one-step process which requires only whiny arrogance…a skill you mastered before kindergarten…to fact-check limitless data in milliseconds.  That’s what’s too good to be true.

And it’s all true!

Of course, no career is perfect**, but Narrative-Based Fact-Checking is perfect…for students struggling to lace their Velcro shoes and for those using Carcharodon carcharias-based morality.  We see you out there!  Look at the job market.  Now look at Ezra Klein.  Now look at yourself and ask…how else can you avoid unemployment?  Well?

That’s right, welcome to Blog U!  No, don’t worry your pretty little heads about that other fact-checking thing.  It has two prerequisites, Morality-101 and then either Basic Logic  or Common Sense.  So, any more questions?

Keggers?  We don’t permit Narrative-Based Fact-Checkers to hold keg parties…we demand it.  No, you rock, dude.  Okay, okay, we all rock.

Blog U!  Blog U!  Blog U!

*(Our Blog U guarantee is not only the best ever offered by mortal man, this claim has been fact-checked.  By a professional!***)

**(Side-effects of prolonged Narrative-Based Fact-Checking include mental and moral degradation, permanent reversion to childlike petulance and self-worship, and a creepy fetish for protests featuring papier-mâché dolls and circle drumming.)
***(Ezra Klein)

 ——————————————————————————————————————–

Hello strivers, dreamers, and home-schooled Americans.  Digi-Text College now offers a course in Logic-Based Fact-Checking.

“Er…” you say, nonplussed, “is there any other kind?”  No, of course not.  But there is a burgeoning media field called “Fact-Checking”, which doesn’t sound Orwellian* until you see it in action.  So this “L-B F-C” class is the latest weapon in our never-ending battle against Newspeak.  Chip in for course materials if you’d like, but the course is gratis to all those who couldn’t afford it otherwise.

(Funding for this project is provided by the drunken entitled morons over at Blog U.)

The odds of this course leading straight to a media job aren’t good, of course.  And you’ll never get that Super Bowl-sized audience.  But the Puppy Bowl is a thing of beauty and brilliantly counter-programs the Super Bowl.  You can do the same against our tyrannical Ruling Class.  And even if this study doesn’t lead directly to a job, we guarantee major side-effects**

So join us if the topic appeals to you!. If not, keep fighting the good fight in your own way.  For freedom!

*(Don’t forget that George Orwell was an idiot-savant.  His genius at describing tyranny was equaled by his jaw-dropping economic stupidity.  Of course if Orwellian economics makes sense to you you’re probably wearing a beer hat over at the Blog U kegger.)

**(Side effects of Logic-Based Fact-Checking include heightened mental acuity and discipline, increased humility with a corresponding rise in confidence, and proof that Shakespeare saw Narrative-Based Fact-Checkers coming.)

About wormme

I've accepted that all of you are socially superior to me. But no pretending that any of you are rational.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Yes, you can have a fabulous career in…Professional Fact-Checking!

  1. Pingback: Instapundit » Blog Archive » MATT WELCH ON THE FACT-CHECKERS CIRCLING THE WAGONS FOR OBAMA: Obama, Democrats, and the Media: You…

  2. Sue says:

    Awesome! Congratulations! :-D

  3. jaed says:

    If there is any justice you will be struck by lightning for posting that second picture.

    AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh……

  4. richard40 says:

    Maybe we need a new video to go with the “I want to be a crony” video. How about “I want to be a fact checker”. Get paid big bucks as a reporter, by passing on dem spin, without having to go to the trouble of editing it or verifying it is true, as factual reporting that you discovered after a lot of very hard reporter type work.

  5. JorgXMckie says:

    Ezra Klein really, really needs to grow his douchebeard again. Seriously.

  6. Pingback: This Week’s Watcher’s Council Nominations – Empty Chair Edition | therightplanet.com

  7. Pingback: This Week’s Watcher’s Council Nominations | therightplanet.com

  8. Pingback: Watcher’s Council Nominations – Empty Chair Edition | Virginia Right!

  9. Pingback: Watcher’s Council Nominations – Empty Chair Edition | Independent Sentinel

  10. Pingback: GayPatriot » Watcher of Weasels Nominations — 8th Blogiversary Edition

  11. Pingback: Trevor Loudon's New Zeal Blog

  12. Pingback: Watcher’s Council Nominations: Empty Chair Edition « TinaTrent.com

  13. Pingback: Watcher’s Council Nominations – Empty Chair Edition | askmarion

  14. Pingback: Bookworm Room » This week’s Watcher’s Council submissions

  15. Pingback: A Conventional Convention |

  16. Pingback: The Council Has Spoken!! This Week’s Watcher’s Council Results | Virginia Right!

  17. Pingback: This Week’s Watcher’s Council Results | therightplanet.com

  18. Pingback: Trevor Loudon's New Zeal Blog

  19. Pingback: The Council Has Spoken! This Week’s Watcher’s Council Results | Independent Sentinel

  20. Pingback: Bookworm Room » Watcher’s Council winners for September 7, 2012

  21. Pingback: The Council Has Spoken!! This Week’s Watcher’s Council Results | askmarion

  22. Pingback: Get ‘Yer Stories |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s