There they go again. According to gays, the Boy Scouts need homosexual Troop Leaders.
Is it fair for an organization meant to teach young people morals to exclude people so openly? People, no matter what their religion or sexual preference, are people. And the Boy Scouts should be teaching tolerance and not segregation.
Amen, brother! But you can’t stop there. Why do the Girl Scouts get a free pass? Because…I want to be a Girl Scout Troop Leader. I mean really, really want to. They’re ever in my thoughts and dreams, those young, nubile, just-blossoming girls… tolerance demands that this lonely heterosexual man take them deep into the woods and teach them the ways of the world.
And it’s what they want. Just look:
Listen closely and you’ll hear her murmur, “Oh wormme, oh wormme, you’re such a big Scout Master. Ooooooh yes, make me sweat for my merit badge.”
Would you deny her the chance to work under me? For shame! The Girl Scouts should be teaching tolerance and not segregation. So I should be as unsegregated with Girl Scouts as biology allows.
I hereby swear: if I’m not drowning in barely-pubescent girls a day after the Boy Scouts go gay, I will sue the Boy Scouts, the lucky gay dude, the Girl Scouts, change.org, Mark Trail, and also Instapundit for not linking this, the most important petition in history. Plus you readers for letting it happen.
Give me young girls! Gimme gimme gimme! It’s no creepier than gays wanting in Boy Scouts and you damn well know it. So that’s the deal. Boy Scouts get gays, Girl Scouts get wormme.
And seeing as we’re all so tolerant, toss in a few brownies for my first camping trip.