There are four kinds of lies…

…lies, damned lies, statistics…and Democrat voting.

When the margin of an election is 1% or less, how often would you expect either candidate to win?  Those sorts of contests are often called “tossups”, because they’re as close and unpredictable as the toss of a coin.  With enough tosses it will break close to even.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Right?

Except that Democrats win 3 out of 4 times.

This little tidbit should be brought up by non-Democrats any time they must interact with The Enemy.  There is no occasion when it is not pertinent.

There is no argument it does not overwhelm.

And there is no registered Democrat that should not be tarred, feathered, and run out of the country on a rail.  (This observation should not, of course, be taken to mean that most  Republicans don’t deserve the exact same treatment.  They do.)

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Minions, my minions!

How I wish you were of higher quality.  Like…

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Purple Avatars

Today is “Spirit Day”, where we all change our online avatars purple because we want to raise awareness for non-heterosexual youths who suffer from bullying.

It’s called “taking a stand”.

Well, apart from the utterly insane notion that retweeting, hashtags, clicking “like” and “share” on Facebook is “taking a stand”, there is actual evil happening in this world right now.

Don’t get me wrong, bullying is an issue, but it’s not exactly a new problem. I was bullied in school, over 20 years ago. Yes, me, the biggest, tallest and strongest kid in every single year in school, who also played hockey, was bullied by class mates and even a teacher.

But compared to what is going on bullying is the least of our problems right now.

Real civil rights are under fire right now and nobody cares. Real lives are in danger yet purple avatars are the important thing.

Google this man: Imran Firasat

Spain has revoked Mister Firasat’s refugee status, labeled him a “security risk” and wants to deport him to mohammedan Indonesia (because of extremely flimsy accusations from there) where he is expected to get killed because

1) he converted from islam to Christianity (apostasy has the death penalty under islamic “law”) and

2) made a movie critical of islam.

He fled to Norway, was arrested there in the streets like a terrorist after only 8 days and quickly deported back to Spain. Without due process or anything like that. The Norwegian immigration office never interviewed or questioned him, not even once.

But I’m sorry, I’m probably keeping you from changing your avatars to purple with this dose of reality.

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You know the story about riding the tiger?

The hard part about riding a tiger is sticking the dismount.

So take an educated guess:  in the nuclear field, when are workers most likely to contaminate themselves?

Answer:  when removing their contaminated protective clothing.

Don’t forget that tidbit when seeing articles like this one.

“Treating one Ebola patient requires, full time, 20 medical staff. Mostly ICU (intensive care unit) people. So that would wipe out an ICU in an average-sized hospital.”

And she fails to mention that not all of those 20 will be properly trained, or properly alert at all times.  If Ebola starts popping up here, the more people we throw at it, the more we ensure that some of them fail at the tiger dismount.

Edohiguma can surely add to this point.

Cheers.

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I’ve made a huge mistake.

I ended up missing 4 nights of work due to the bureaucratic morass.  Which was really bugging me…until I started working the Turbine Deck.

This would have been a breeze in my youth.  Twelve hours on my feet in outrageously high temperatures?  Bring it.  My first real job was at age sixteen, working full-time during the summer…at a tannery.

Who could have guessed that thirty-five years of rough roads and tough mileage could wear a vehicle out?

The only reason for this post is that I spent only seven hours in bed today…which will probably prove painful in another dozen.  But I’m about to make a quick WalMart run to get some Dr. Scholl’s Gel Inserts (highly recommended by another Turbine Deck Tech), a pedometer (which a different T.D.T. uses for a combination of masochism/bragging rights).  There’s a few other items, but the list in my car is almost twenty feet away and so the round trip would be problematic.

Anyway, hope you guys are all doing well.  I’ve got 5 more straight 12-hour nights before my single day off, so pray for me.

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Bureaucracy just cost me ~40,000 square feet of land.

I’m not working this weekend after all.  “The Man” messed up my digital fingerprinting last week, and I had to redo it this week.  Thus, my security clearance didn’t come through for unescorted access to the nuclear plant.

Thus thus, I was told not to come in until (hopefully) Sunday night.  That’s a loss of 24 hours of overtime.  Which amount of pay, even after taxes, would have covered about 2% of my recently purchased 46 acres of land.  Dadgummit!

But (since your newly revitalized wormme strives for gratitude and positivity) it also means I can watch college football all day today.

If you don’t understand what that means to a simple ‘Bama boy, you need to learn two words.  Two words, eight letters, and the greatest ESPN commercial ever:

UPDATE–Realization:  not all of you will thrill to the beauty of that clip.  It’s not your fault…your mama just didn’t raise you right.  Here’s a rough transliteration:

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Lagniappe, mon chere’!

I love Cajun food so much, sometimes I’ll even cook it myself.  But it’s ridiculously hard to find in most places.  It was nowhere near me in Ohio.  Long Island was terrible, Oak Ridge and Knoxville no better.

But now, here I am in north Alabama.  Which is apparently Roux Central of the Bible Belt.  Huntsville has about a half dozen places.

And I’m about to go order waaaaay too much food from about half of them.  Leftover Creole is better than most fresh cuisines.

I’d planned to go into ketosis for most of this month, and lose 10 pounds.  Hah!

Health is for the weak.

 

UPDATE–I forgot to explain lagniappe [lan-yap (though some tin ears pronounce it) lan-yap].  It’s the Bayou Baker’s Dozen, baby.  One of the all-time greatest words.

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